Thursday, October 15, 2009

The sun will come out . . .

It's interesting. In the days since I posted about National Coming Out Day and the National Equality March, the gay community has entered into a rather heated conversation.

A lot of this conversation revolves around President Obama's speech at the Annual Human Right's Campaign Dinner on Saturday night. President Obama re-iterated his promises to overturn Don't Ask Don't Tell and the (so called) Defense of Marriage Act along with signing hate crimes legislation and employment discrimination protections for GLBT people.

It seems the gay community is divided pretty much down the middle. There are the people who are happy with Obama's promises and think that the GLBT community should be satisfied to "wait its turn" while the president focuses on the war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan, healthcare reform, and the lousy economy. Then there are those who think that action is coming too slowly and that our community shouldn't settle for "tomorrow"; but should demand "NOW!"

As for myself, I have to say "wait until it's a better time" reeks of "the check is in the mail." It's an empty promise used to avoid confrontation over an issue that they don't want to discuss.

GLBT equality is just as important an issue as all the rest. It's insulting and demeaning to imply that equal rights for American Citizens is a lower priority than anything else. The assumption that all men are created equal is the basis of our country. It should be the FIRST priority. Anything less is unacceptable.

Would the African-American community have asked Rosa Parks to sit back in the rear of the bus until the Cold War was over? Would they have asked Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to postpone his dream until after Viet Nam? Of course not! Why then are our own leaders telling us to wait?

A lot of people are saying that Obama and the Democratic controlled congress are gearing up for the next election; that they need to be careful now, and not do anything TOO controversial until they've gotten reelected. That's a load of bullshit. You know what? There's ALWAYS going to be another election coming. And if we buy that as a stall tactic now, they'll expect us to roll over for it next time, and the time after. If we continue to wait until equality is convenient for everyone else, we will NEVER get it

The thing is. Nobody should be asking us to wait! Gay Rights are GOOD for the country! Allowing gays to serve openly in the military would immediately help the war effort because it'd mean the Armed Forces would stop losing so many good people. In my last blog I talked about how much gay couples have to pay to approximate what straight couples take for granted. Imagine if all those gay couples could stop paying that money to lawyers and were able to spend it on goods and services. Wouldn't that help the overall economy? And when we've got to pay the "marriage penalty" tax that straight couples have to pay, wouldn't that benefit the treasury of the United States?

And then you start looking at little factoids like "Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the country". Wow, I guess gay marriage won't destroy the country and ring the death knell for "traditional marriage" after all.

I'm sorry folks. The HRC has it wrong. We need to leave the singing of "Tomorrow" to Annie, and start demanding "TODAY!" from our leaders. Be they leaders of the GLBT movement, or our elected leaders at the City, County, State, and Federal level.

The squeaky wheel get's the grease. So we're going to need to start squeaking. A LOT!

I'm an AMERICAN!

I pay my TAXES!

I demand my RIGHTS!

NOW!




Sunday, October 11, 2009

Marching along . . .

My last blog was about things that I shouldn't take for granted. Today's blog is about things that YOU shouldn't take for granted.

You see, today is National Coming Out Day; and the day of the National Equality March in Washington D.C. And today is the day we're discussing all the ways that Gays and Lesbians aren't equal right here in the "land of the free".

Just in case anyone wasn't already 100% clear . . . I'm gay. Scott is my husband. We were married last year. Not legally, of course, because we live in Florida. But we did have a Big Fat Gay Disney Wedding, and we're as married as any other couple we know. Heck more married than some.

So, my dear straight friends, this is about things that we don't have that you shouldn't take for granted.

For instance, a married couple is automatically designated as next of kin for each other. They get the right to see and make medical decisions for their partner if the partner is incapacitated. This isn't the case for gay couples. And even though Scott and I have given each other Medical Power of Attorney, there's no guarantee that it'll be honored by any given hospital. Here's a case in South Florida where a woman was kept from the bedside of her dying partner. The hospital told her that Florida is an "anti-gay state" and that they wouldn't honor her legal documents. To make matters worse, when the woman sued the hospital, the courts backed the hospital!

This terrifies us. We live in Florida. And even though we've taken all the legal steps that we can to protect ourselves, it's still possible for some bigot to decide to ignore those protections.

Speaking of taking those steps to protect ourselves, we had to spend quite a bit of money to get the legal documents drawn up. Let me tell you, Brittney Spears paid a LOT less for her quickie wedding than Scott and I paid for wills, power of attorney, etc. And we don't even get the full compliment of protections that she threw away when she changed her mind and kicked the guy to the curb a day later.

They New York Times recently did a study on the costs of being a gay couple. In other words, what it costs us to accomplish what straight couples get simply by being married. It's a variable statistic of course; but on the low end, a gay couple has to spend over $25,000 to approximate what a straight couple has. In some cases, the amount can go up to nearly HALF A MILLION DOLLARS!

Tell me again, how "we hold these truths to be self evident" that all Americans are equal? Bullshit.

I could go on and on and on, of course. The gist of my message is this. I'm and American Citizen! I pay my taxes! I want equality!

If you've got it, don't take it for granted. And do what you can to help those of us who are getting a bum deal.

I wish that we could been in Washington today to march along with them. We couldn't. But that doesn't matter. The spirit of the march is that we keep fighting. And by doing what we can day to day, we are always marching along . . .

Monday, October 5, 2009

Not taking things for granted . . .

A lot of things recently have made me stop and think. And think hard.

A very dear friend of mine, the very picture of health and fitness spent a week in the hospital with a pulmonary embolism that nearly killed her. A risk of her job, and birth control, yes. But a very scary wake-up call nonetheless. I'm not taking my friends for granted today.

A lovely lady who I've had the privilege of watching perform lost her husband this weekend. He had a heart attack while riding his motorcycle. It was their second wedding anniversary. I'm not taking Scott for granted today.

Two different friends have lost their pet cats this week. To be honest, I'm not a cat person, but the loss of any friend, be they two legged or four legged, is difficult. It's like walking around with a hole in your life. I'm not taking Tolliver for granted today.

I had the chance to meet new friends over the past couple of weeks. People that I knew online, but now have connected with and laughed with in person. I'm not taking opportunities to change and grow for granted today.

I listened to an acquaintance talk about how poorly his parents and family had treated him. I'm not taking my loving, accepting family for granted today.

I've mentioned the Adventurers Club in this blog before. It's been closed for a year now, but we've gotten word that they've begun to strip it bare in preparation for demolition. I'm not taking good times and laughter for granted today.

I've got several friends who have become unemployed recently. I'm not taking my job for granted today.

I've had a lot of medical tests and dental issues lately. Things are fine, but I'm not taking my health for granted today.

Life is funny. Sometimes it takes some really crappy news to make you realize how lucky you are.

I am. And I promise myself that I'm going to remember that I am.

Sorry that this blog post is such a downer today. But it's where my head is at right now.

I promise I'll try and be witty and amusing on the next one.

For now, it's time for bed. Tomorrow is another day . . .

. . . and, I'm not going to take it for granted.